Changes...or the lack thereof

Yesterday when I came home and got the mail there was a nice little letter from my landlord. Basically it said that my year lease is almost up and I need to either sign this line to extend it, or sign this line to agree to be out of my apartment by May 1st. This in itself is not that big of a deal to me; however what it does mean is that it has been almost a year. A year!! I moved out of my house and made some huge life changes March 25, 2007 and I knew that it would be hard. I planned on being emotionally messed up, and I have pretty much done a good job at that. But a year?!! I’m having a hard time not being a little distraught that it feels like my life is still all up in the air and crazy. How have I not DONE something in the past year? How do I not have some sort of plan about where I want to be and what I want to do?? Why do I still want to just go home and crawl into bed every night instead of going out and making some sort of effort? Instead of changing my life for the better? Making new friends and meeting new people, experiencing new things? Shouldn't I at least be a little bit ready and willing to move on by now? Not necessarily move on from Jon, just with life in general. If in a year I haven't done any of these things how long is it going to take?? A year?? Wow…