Dialysis: The Time Has Come

I saw my doctor yesterday. She told me that my kidney function has dropped again and is now at about 11%. I told her about how my symptoms are currently: exhausted all the time, nausea, sore and achy, no appetite, lots of swelling and weight gain from the fluid retention, headaches....
She thinks that it is time to start dialysis. I thought I'd be more nervous than I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm nervous as hell, but I'm also feeling absolutely awful lately and the idea that I might feel even just a little bit better is a really hopeful thought.
She (my Nephrologist...which is a kidney specialist if you didn't know) wants to try Peritoneal Dialysis (PD) first. Basically, I will fill my peritoneal cavity (think of it as a kind of stomach lining) with the dialysate solution which will draw all the waste and extra water to it, then I'll drain the dialysate which will get rid of all that extra stuff in my body that my kidneys aren't filtering out since they don't work well. There are two different ways of doing this exchange. Either manually several times throughout the day, or with a machine that runs and does several exchanges while you sleep at night. Either way they would be able to be done by me and in the comfort of my own home!
In order to start, they will need to surgically put a PD catheter in my stomach area, which doesn't sound awesome, but sounds WAY less scary to me than a fistula. I'll have to let that heal for a couple of weeks before we can start to use it.
The one main concern that we have about peritoneal dialysis instead of hemodialysis (where they take your blood out, clean it, and put it back in) is that the solution used for PD is glucose (sugar) based, and since I am Type 1 diabetic, that could really mess with my blood sugar levels. Also, if there is too much glucose in the rest of my body (meaning if my blood sugar level is too high) then the dialysate wont be as effective...at least that was my understanding of it. Please keep in mind that this is all brand new to me and what I've learned so far is mostly by looking online. So, that's where I'm at. It's so much for my little brain to digest, but like I said, I'm really hopeful that this is going to give me a little more energy and make it so that day to day, I'm not having to deal quiet so much with the symptoms of CKD. Maybe my pants will even fit me again! ;)

My Circle

I've been having a rough time lately.
Emotionally and physically.
When my kidney problem was diagnosed in November my kidney function was around 20% and the doctors told me that percentage would definitely decrease, they were hoping it would decline about 1% per year. Three months later (last month) when they checked my kidney function it was at 13%. Which, in case you aren't great at math, is WAY more than 1% per year...so we're in the process of getting all the paperwork and doctors appointments completed so that I can get put on the transplant list. I still haven't started dialysis yet, apparently there are a couple of different types of dialysis, the one where you have to get a fistula (which is a TERRIFYING idea to me for some reason) and typically takes about 3 days a week for 4 or 5 hours a day (which would make it hard to keep working and therefore keep my insurance....ahh stress!!) Or the other kind of dialysis where you do it at home while you sleep, but in order to be eligible for that type of dialysis my A1C (which is basically the 3 month average of my blood sugar levels...I'm Type I diabetic too, remember) needs to be a bit better (its currently at 8.something and ideally it should be about 6.something), so we're putting off dialysis for as long as I can handle the symptoms of crappy kidneys in the hopes of buying time to get my A1C better and open more options for the dialysis.
Anyway, so I'm dealing with some stress.

• The stress of the rapid decline in kidney function.
• The stress of making sure my blood sugar levels are as perfect as I can get them (which is hard since the kidney issue effects the blood sugar issue and its still so new to me that I don't really have a firm grasp on how to adjust things to make them as good as possible)
• The stress of gaining up to 25 lbs due to all the water retention and therefore having no clothes that fit
• The stress of getting transplant eligibility paperwork completed which includes;
• The stress of getting into any type of doctor you can possibly think of, which therefore gives the added stress of:
• Scheduling doctor appointments
• Finding new doctors; for example, the dentist which I haven't been to in an embarrassingly long time
• Making sure that the scheduling of all these appointments messes with my work schedule as little as possible since I couldn't do any of this without insurance
• Stressing about how the hell I'm going to pay for all for this, including the thousands of dollars worth of dental work that needs done before I can even turn in the transplant forms

This list could go on and on and on. It seems like I find something new to stress about on a daily basis but I'm gong to stop this stress list now cause that wasn't what this post was supposed to be about. (oh great! Now I'm stressing about a damn blog post! hee hee)

What is so amazing to me though, is the group of family and friends that I have in my life that are taking on so much of this stress without me even having to ask for their help. You want some examples of this amazingness?

• My husband has forbidden me from even looking at the doctor bills that just keep rolling in. He is taking care of it all. I'm not even aloud to get the mail anymore cause he knows that money is something I can't stop worrying about once I start.
• My brothers amazing wife took it upon herself to look up my dental insurance and find a new doctor in my network. She called around to discuss my situation and that we're trying to get this taken care of ASAP so we can start the process of waiting for organ transplants until she found the one that sounded like it would work out the best. Then she called me to tell me that my appointment was set up for later that day to get the dental ball rolling.
• My mom has driven down from her house, which is about 90 miles from my house and takes about an hour and a half, so that she could drive me to various doctor appointments and be there as moral support for me.
• My brother, who is also diabetic, has spent countless hours discussing possible causes and solutions for my blood sugar issues and teaching me about my new Continuous Glucose Monitor and Insulin Pump.
• My Aunt has spent so much time researching and on the phone with people looking into which options would be best, long term, for insurance and my job, and whatnot.
• My mother-in-law has offered to come clean my house
• Some good friends have taken my step-son for the day when my husband was working and I was just too tired to entertain an amazing little 9 year old.

And these are just a few specifics that I can think of. Things that have happened in the last week or so. I'm not even including the many, many texts or calls for offers of "If there is anything at all that I/we can do..." I'm also not even including the moral support and meaningful hugs that people just seem to know that I need. 

So the point of this blog post is to shout out to my circle of people. The people that are in contact on a daily basis and the people who are in contact maybe once a month but who I know are thinking about me on a daily basis. I'm a wreck right now, but I KNOW that I would be a million times worse without the support of my people.

I have the best people.

Thank you my people!!